Search This Blog

Where is Mr. Ukeoma Ikechukwu


Thursday, 14 April 2011

How do you move your relationship to the next level?

I am a male, aged 26. I have a girlfriend, and we have been seeing each other for seven months now, but there’s no sex!
She wants to have sex and I do too, but she sees it as impossible because I don’t have my own room/home. I stay with a friend and the place is so inconvenient, plus it’s also a workplace.
She hates the word ‘lodge’ or doing it somewhere else. What can I do? I am afraid I might take too long to get a room and she’ll find happiness somewhere else.
Kevin says:
This is silly. It can't be that hard to find somewhere. You need to start thinking outside the box. Stay at a friend's for the night, save up for a hotel room, or give your roommate 20 quid to make himself scarce for a few hours (or minutes). If you want something badly enough, you'll find a way. Like when George Michael used that toilet. You say you live in a workplace? Surely there must be a bed there, with some privacy, somewhere? Or are you kipping in the shop window at H&M, wedged in alongside some dummies?
To be brutally honest, I have a nagging feeling there is more going on here than the lack of a room. Could there be another reason she doesn't want to have sex with you? Are you too pushy? Too smelly? Do you excessively say the word "lodge"? It sounds a bit like she's making excuses. If you did book a hotel, I wouldn't be surprised if she found another reason not to do it - like she's too tired or she's unsettled because the man of the front desk looks like Jeremy Beadle.
Because really there are all sorts of places you could have sex. Be imaginative... on a beach, in a lift, up a tree. Wherever you choose to do this deed, do it quick. Because seven months is a long time, and there are lots of men out there with their own room. And if you're that desperate you can use my place for a couple of hours, for a fee. Let me know.
Christine says:
Seven months? One of you is being very patient here and I can’t quite work out which one. OK, I can see if you don’t even have your own room that your girlfriend might be feeling a little exposed, shall we say. You don’t have to get a penthouse apartment but your own room is the minimum you need if you realistically expect to get any action.  Do you really think she is going to want to do it on the kitchen table while your flatmate is reaching for the Marmite? Or in the lounge while everyone is watching ‘Come Dine With Me’? Even if your friend does go out she’s probably worried that he might pop back to get his wallet and you’ll be caught in an uncompromising position. Some women like the element of risk and for others, it can turn them colder than Christmas at the Rooneys.
However, I do feel as though she likes to say ‘no way’ but she isn’t really coming up with many other solutions. If you can’t afford to move then you might just have to spend a bit of money in the meantime taking her out and ending up at a hotel. Don’t feel bad about this, essentially that’s what hotels are for. They’re for people that are bored of/don’t want to/can’t have sex at home. And grumpy businessmen, who would be having sex in their hotel room if they could.  It is up to you to make it feel romantic, not seedy and take your time if she’s nervous. By that I mean, take her to a Holiday Inn, not a Holiday Inn Express. I think you know what I’m saying…

No comments:

Post a Comment